You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘easter’ tag.

Two Sundays ago was Easter Sunday. And when I went to church, I expected a lesson on ressurection, love, obedience, etc. I did not expect a deliverance from unforgiveness. But God never did seem to comply with what I expected from His sermons, so why should He start now?

You see, I have battled long and hard with forgiving some incidences that happened about a year ago. And it’s not that I was being rebellious against the commandments of God. I pleaded with Him often to help me forgive. I wanted to forgive. But I was just so hurt, and so angry, that no matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t genuinly manage it.

A year ago my mind was attacked, my heart bullied, my reputation torn to shreds, my integrity placed on the line, and life became so overwhelming I almost surrendered my life. It was a time of pain I wouldn’t wish on any man. It was a time of such hopelessness and despair I almost gave up on God’s delivering power. And it took me a year and much prayer and many divine touches before I could even consider myself back on the path of true stability.

And because of all of this, I grew angry and bitter. I didn’t want to be, but when pain festers too long, bitterness is the fruit it bears. So when I asked God, why could I not forgive? He told me, Daughter, you are simply in too much pain.

So throughout this past year, God kept me on a path toward healing. He was my Docter, giving me continual doses of peace and joy, over and over, lifting me up every time I fell down. Then, gradually, my pain lessened though it did not fully heal. In time my anger diminished, though it did not fully fade. And I stayed at my Master’s feet and held on to the hem of His garmet.

And then, finally, Easter Sunday I was given the revelation I needed. Apostle Jones was preaching and He spoke about how Jesus carried not only our iniquities, but also our pain. All the hurts and sorrows that we have experienced, do experience, and will experience, He endured on the cross.

It hit my like a bag of bricks. If I am one with Christ Jesus, if my life is hidden in His, then when they hurt me a year ago, they also hurt Him. And when I was in such psychological agony that I desired death over the pain, He was there with me, bearing the sorrow at my side, as one with my spirit. My pain was His pain.

And I realized, if Christ could endure all that pain, and not only mine but many others as well, on that cross, and still cry out that man be forgiven, then I could forgive as well. And as easilly as switching on a light, I did. And as I did, I was able to release all the anger that remained inside my heart. Do I still have a bit of healing left? Yes. Some of the pain is still there. But it diminishes more and more with every passing day. It’s progress was quickened by my breakthrough on Easter Sunday and boosted by continual touches of divine healing ever since.

This is a process. And it is long. But it is also a part of a testimony. And one day soon, this testimony will be complete.

Advertisements